So here I sit awaiting the banana bread to finish baking for tomorrow’s girl scout meeting, of which I volunteered D and myself to plan on of the petal activities. Like I don’t have enough going on, but that obnoxious self-inflicted guilt kicks in and of course, the complete inability to say ‘no’ to just about anything someone may ask of me. I sit and I ponder the homeschool meeting I just attended and begin to question the complete lunacy of the intensity of our schedule these days. It was resource night at EHE and as much I just love hearing about resources, I found myself in a complete disarray throughout a great deal of the discussion. Part of me wondered if I had been neglectful, yet another part wondered if I had been pushing to hard (as of late)?! And at many points in time during the evening I kept wondering what the kids might be feeling about this current life/home/schooling situation we have been living in currently. I mean quite frankly, much of the last, oh…. maybe 2-ish months or less has felt a little (well ok, quite a lot to me) routine, and really this month I am wondering just what the *$&#@ I’m doing? They have not voiced much one way or the other. Or maybe I have not heard them? Have I checked out in some way-shape-form? I certainly feel pretty routine about things and maybe I’ve left it too much to assumption recently. So often we talk about how kids will often plateau and we as homeschooling parents might start to freak out that our kids are not learning anything, or we are just not progressing enough. Maybe I’ve fallen into that category as of lately and need to check back in. Then again, maybe the kids have also fallen into the mundane and not too sure what to say, if anything at all. What I did come away from the meeting feeling was that things in our life tick so extremely different than most. I wonder if presenting something different and new would enhance or hinder. I wonder what the kids would input when I bring the subject up with them?
I am gratefully looking forward to a summer of a whole lot of unscheduled time and hope to figure these feelings out with the time available to us. I find that this summer in particular there seem to be tons of program/class options and really am quite shocked at just how much! The pressure to “do” in this community is really quite overwhelming at times. In fact, during this meeting this evening I got into much of the same discussion about the inability to just let go of the pressure and just ‘be’. The pace is just so go-go-go here that it really can become daunting if you don’t stand up and truly self-evaluate what the best balance for your family just might be.
That said, we have three more weeks of trudging through the end of most of these classes. I am eager to see the time pass quickly. And I just hate feeling that way as well b/c there is nothing worse than not just being in the present. But I will not miss the days of rushing out the door with a huge refrigerator bag full of food for the day and shuffling off from one activity to the next, endlessly, till I arrive home and realize I have no clue what to prepare for dinner. Adjustments clearly need to be made, and feel very fortunate to have this lovely season apon us to do so.
Ha… speaking of which, and to sort of shift gears. I am beginning to wonder how the vegetarian-deal is wearing the kiddos. No one has said anything quite so bluntly just yet, but I sense it coming soon. There have been side comments of questions and I wonder if they are feeling like something is missing, or just missing in general. We will see how this pans out. I quite honestly, have been having crazy pregnancy cravings as well so that’s not helping much in keeping the momentum going on the healthier side of things. Like right now I can really just taste sitting down with a burger and a beer. Go figure. I don’t even like red-meat! Beer, on the other hand ; )
Ha…. I think the banana bread is done!