OMG … it’s really true
So ok… here I am totally attempting to live life as it feels right inside of me. Not the easiest thing to do when you were raised…. um… pretty much the exact opposite and you have 35 years to undo! But yea, what I mean is this whole “radical” unschooly-ness that our lives have evolved to, or into… or still evolving into, but definitely aspiring to. This way of life is so important to me. It feels so right inside, yet I have a very hard time in fully encapsulating it to its fullest, all at once, in its full entirety. I’m definitely headed that way, and by many (other people’s) standards, they may suggest I’m already there. I find myself battling a few things here and there, and hey… none of us is perfect. Still have a slip up here and there…. BUT this past Friday I had one of these moments in which a giganti-normous revelation came to me and UGH… the clouds of doubt that ever might have been have cleared the skies and left them light blue and sunny from here on out. And here’s what I mean by that….
I totally have always supported the idea of child-led “education”. I love the idea that learning and living should never be separated. And, well, basically truly and whole-heartedly support and attempt to live as a radical unschooler. Let’s face it, our family lives have just sort of always been that way. It was sort of inevitable, but really… honestly… I did not know it at the time that I had K. Seriously. No one could have told me that this was our path at that time. Something we have just ventured down as it’s come along and trying so hard to listen to my heart and head and not all of that outside noise that has muddled most of my upbringing. Not always an easy thing to do.
So… yes…. I’m rambling over this monumental moment because it’s something that happens in your life that you then say to yourself, “AHHHHHHHHHH…. now THIS is what I really believed and LOOK…… HERE it is!”….
And that moment…. just this past Friday night at bedtime, our very typical routine to the evening is climbing into bed and reading lots and lots…. K starts pointing to a ton of words on the page and reading them out loud. I conquer that he’s reading things very correctly and he’s getting all excited. He runs out of the room and grabs a Dr. Seuse book and begins reading it. Actually sounding things out and figuring out and making sense of rhyming words! He then DECLARES himself a reader, which to this date he would have never done!
I had always stood in his defense that he was a reader (to those who very annoyingly pester him to find out if he reads). He would always say “not yet” even though he had the full ability to read. He did not deem himself a reader because he was not fluent. Partly as a boost to his esteem and not to deter from his ability to read, I would say, “he can read, he’s not fluent yet but the ability is there.” He really could have cared less. He never seemed frustrated about it, and he was quite at ease with the process. I had always known that K is much of a perfectionist. I know that he does not like to do anything unless it is perfect and it comes out smoothly, and much of this happens through is internalizing. He likes to master things internally before he would actually do them outwardly. And then and only then, would he deem himself a title of that task at hand. So I just knew that reading would come much of the same way. It would just magically happen this way one day (this same thing happened when he wrote his name for the first time…. I totally was humoring him when he asked if I wanted to see him write it (at age 4) and he just picked up a pen and wrote it for me… I teared up then!)
Any rate… I knew this time would come, and this is just one of those things that again proves to myself that we are on the right path. And it’s not just about the reading or the ability to read. It’s the trust that has come and been built along with this. It’s the love of learning and experiencing everything and the safe-zone to make the mistakes and grow with out scrutiny. And even most important to me as a mother, the amazing relationships I am so lucky and fortunate to have and to build for and with my children. Ugh…. at that point, I go speechless.
This is an amazing journey!