Nakita Baby

So…. it seems it’s come to an end…. and as much as I am relieved, I am so utterly sad. It’s mourning time for mama. The big S has seemed to have weaned himself. Yes, that’s right, no more nursing. I’m thrilled we’ve gone beyond 2 years, and I’m thrilled that he seems done before the arrival of new baby, but yet, I can’t help but feel a bit ‘o sad that it has come.

Over the last several weeks I had noticed that he had been just too super busy during the days to even ask to nurse. And that was ok with me. My worry, however, at that point was that nighttime would last forever and that would be impossible to break as a habit, not only proving difficult to balance him with baby, but maintain my sanity as well (or better, my ability to get any rest at night). And then…. the naps started to wain as well! In the last month or so, I suppose about the same timing, he was dropping his daytime naps to nearly never needing one, and that seemed to help him sleep TONS better at night. So there we sat in holding pattern for some time. He’d not nap nor nurse all day, but he’d ask to nurse to go to sleep at night. He’d then sleep most the night through and then in early AM there would be the chance he’d ask to nurse again.

Then this pattern started to shift. I think b/c he had cut back this much, and we approached this 6 month of pregnancy that my milk shift drastically b/c the next change that occurred was that he asked but he’d only latch for about 10 seconds or less. And…. the AM…. he’d pretty much skip altogether. So then we were down even more so….

And…. the last but what appears to be the final straw…. he has not asked to nurse for the second night. Well, actually last night D says, “Is S even having ‘ba’ any more?” And sure enough, he asked. But otherwise, he would not have even asked to nurse. I reminded him that the milk was gone, but he latched for about 2-3 seconds to just prove it to himself (maybe)…. or maybe just his stubbornness to want to nurse just b/c the topic was brought up  : )

At any rate, no nursing last night, and tonight…. he flipped and flopped in bed and then asked and started groaning for daddy to come to the bedroom. SO…. daddy put him to sleep tonight. We are more than 48 hours w/o nursing…  : (

Bitter sweet.

With baby coming along soon, I was bracing myself for tandem nursing, even talked it out with family doc about my concerns in balancing…. and all along, S had his own plans. It sure was a beautiful journey with him. So peaceful and natural. With D in particular, I recall a bit of resentment during that last year of nursing. Going to age 3 had sort of pushed me to my limits, and it was tough. So it was a bit harder. But I think you feel that with any child, no matter the beginning, duration or ending…. it’s so bitter sweet when that aspect of the relationship fades away to a distant memory. I feel blessed, and even proud, that I have been able to provide each of them over 2 years of nursing. That attachment has been a blessing to our relationships, and even more selfishly, a blessing to my journey to become a better mother. The type of mother that I aspire to be.

I look forward to at least 2 more years of it, and will cherish it all as it will be the last.

Thanks for the lovely journey S-man! Your mama sure loves you!

The weekend was a blast. Nothing out of the ordinary, but just fabulous. I think I already touched on Saturday’s happenings, and Sunday was much of the same. I had a meeting in the AM with a new group I am joining with D. It’s called Gentle Circle and a group of 6 moms and daughters who are coming together, girls all about the same age (5-7 year range), to grow and cherish special times together as friends and as mother/daughters. I’m looking forward to the group evolving more as we have only had the opportunity to unite twice as mothers. There is the hope that we are able to meet a few more times before the girls join in and we plan more activities with them on a monthly basis. I have enjoyed getting to know the women little by little, but also feel that many are hesitant to share a ton with each other. I feel the sense that the women are worried or cautious about what to, and what not to, share with each other just yet, and wonder if that will evolve to closer more trusting relationships as time elapses. I do hope so, as each woman seems to bring very unique traits to the group and I look forward to learning from each of them and becoming closer friends with each.

After my AM meeting I took the kids over to the garden for some watering. Things are growing well now! I am eager to see what will flourish for us to eat in the next month! We have had a couple strawberries blossom already and the kiddos were able to share 2 of them recently : ) Since it was so stinkin’ hot Sunday I drove to our favorite Dairy Queen spot for our super duper favorite Chocolate French Silk blizzards! SO yum! Brought those over to G’pa’s and since they were melting and a mess, they had a blast running through water and eventually the sprinkler. Oh, well actually, we brought squirt guns to play with, but those just did not hold enough water. G’pa was home and dug out a sprinkler for some real water action!

Monday was Big D’s birthday and this was the same day (Memorial Day 2004) that was born on 6 years back. That was kinda fun! She had an amazing b-day and I have to add… quite pleasant. B’day’s past have not always been so much. There always seemed to be some emotional rupture of tears or what not that made her b-day kinda not as enjoyable as a mother would have hoped : ) However this year, it was quite blissful! She did receive lots of goodies that were on her wish-list and we had G’ma over for homemade pizza and cake. It was very fun. Today we went to an indoor pool in Glenview with G’pa and Subway after for her favorite sandwich. G’pa stuck candles in a cookie for her, and that was quite sweet. She had a remarkably fun b-day celebration! OH… OH… and how can I forget? She lost a tooth on her b-day as well! : )

She is just a remarkable girl I must add as well. Her growth this past year has far surpassed what I would/could have imagined. Makes a mama tear at how quickly time flies, and I get to be with her 24/7! It feels like I just blinked my eyes and yet…. AHHHH. She is amazing in her unknown beauty. Her strength and athletic ability is more than I know what to do with. She thoroughly enjoyed gymnastics this year, and I still have not figured out if it is b/c she just loves to run and throw her body around, or if gymnastic skills are what she really wants to acquire. She is hesitant to try other sports just yet. We may have gotten the nerve up to attempt soccer this fall, but still unsure if she will agree before the deadline. (This season she decided afterwards and so we decided to wait till the fall.) I wish there was someone interested in starting a homeschool track team or practice for this age as she just really truly loves to run a LOT! Basketball seems to be on the ‘maybe’ list and swimming is a definite yes… if I would actually sign her up! ; ) I am hesitant to just do lessons b/c I don’t feel they accomplish more than what she already does on her own. But if I found a team where they actually taught her technique, that’s something she’d really benefit from.

Aside from the logistics, she is just an all around sweet girl. She has her rough moments of course, and much of that stems (IMO) from the middle-child and/or only-girl syndrome. She requires lots more one-on-one in general, and not just with me. She just loves to be with people and constantly ‘doing’ with people. She loves to be busy a full 12 hrs a day and crashes hard the other 10-12. She sleeps so well… and plays so hard! She is coming into her own slowly but surely. She is a very easy-going, kinda fickle, yet not-so-much… a lot like her mother : ) And by that I mean, she finds just about anything interesting and does not fall into a certain “category” of personality type or character. I could never say she’s a girly-girl, but yet she loves to play around with make-up, nail polish and dress up and look pretty. I could never say she is a tom-boy b/c she loves all things girly despite her being a complete jock at times. She is quite smart, but at this stage in life seems to always second-guess herself. I do hope that homeschooling will provide more confidence in her own personal choices and decisions and build a stronger self-esteem (for lack of better words)…. b/c she does not necessarily lack esteem, but this second -guessing if she is right or knows certain things weighs heavily on her at times.

She is a complete giver. She loves art and is always drawing my pictures and writing to me, giving me gifts. It’s precious to see her evolving hand and heart. She is a nurturer as well. She loves her brothers so much, and cares for them as a mama-figure. She is this way with her friends as well. She is everyone’s friend and does not understand when others choose to be only one person’s friend, or is exclusive of others. She cherishes interactions with older girls. Girls Scouts was tremendous for her this year for both this and her independence boost. She is a planner and organizer. This year she enjoyed girl scouts, gymnastics, park days, gym days, clay class, girls club, and probably more that I’m forgetting. She did delve into pen pals in a way she has not before and is enjoying that interaction with kids around the world.

It is an honor to be her mama and I am eager to follow her on her path. She is and will continue to be a truly interesting soul.

You know we have had a perfect end to a beautiful week. We had gorgeous weather Thursday for park day and after the last trip to gymnastics and after quick grocery run, we even made it out to our first full moon jam of the season. We had missed last month’s due to complete exhaustion among the majority of us, and this time we made it out there for a bit. I always love a good jam, and especially love when we can actually view the incredible, large, full moon come up over that lake. It’s breath-taking.

Friday K and I had a ploy that we were going to game club while D and S hung with SBJ at home. But what we really did was head to the stores to b-day shop for Big D as her 6th b-day is just around the bend here. It was super fun to be on a secret mission with K, that is, after he got over his grippiness about not buying anything for himself while we were out. He had a rough start, but it did end on a very positive note, and he even enjoyed picking things out for his lil’ sis’. Quite sweet. We had planned on getting to NUG’s beach day, but by the time we returned home and downed some lunch it was well after 2pm, so we headed to an Evanston beach to at least enjoy some beach time during the amazing afternoon sunshine. Just perfect.

Today I took D out with S to pick out/up her b-day balloons. It’s a fun little tradition that we have developed over the b-days past, that they get to go pick out their own helium balloon stash to enjoy at home. So that was our fun for the early day. Later we had contemplated heading fishing but I don’t know that everyone had enough energy for that, so we headed to a park in Morton Grove we had not been to for some time. One the kids really really enjoy and had not been to for some time. Worked out fabulously for me b/c I had wanted to swing by this phone repair shop I spotted on Oakton to get my phone a desperately needed new battery. I don’t really know how it happened, but S fell asleep in the car sitting in front of the store! No car in motion, and no music on even…. just passed out. : ) So at the park SBJ got to trek around with the kiddos while I hung with the sleeping S in the blissful shade. The weather was just amazing today.

After homemade tacos for dinner we all cuddled up on the couch for a family film night. I just love those as well… What fun, cuddlin’ up and watchin’ Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. Of course the kicker for the kids was the special ice cream sundaes I concocted before the film started : )

And during these past few days or more… I have had this overwhelming gratitude. I mean what an amazing blessing to not only be home with my kiddos, but that my kiddos are able to be home with each other! This phenomena has truly shown it’s colors this week in more ways than maybe I can recount. But what I do know for certain is their relationships with each other are far better now than mine are with my brothers as grown adults. Of course, they obviously have their moments when they don’t care for each other all that much, get frustrated, jealous or the like. But…. and the BIG but here, is that they have so much more time to work through those moments and so much MORE time to truly enjoy and love on each other. Their mutual respect for each other sometimes brings happy tears to my eyes. When I see K say, “hey let’s play this game.” And D says, “yes! I want to be ‘x’ person in the game.” And K says, “Yea, ok, and S…. who do you want to be?” And S mumbles something past his ‘geegee’ (pacifier) and they just totally know exactly what he is saying, respect his choices, and help him dress up as that character. Ugh…. I just love that. Makes me melt inside and out and cherish this homeschooling journey even more. For without that time they have together, K and D would not even have a relationship with S due to him being so much younger, and they certainly would not respect him as a true individual either. Their relationships are beautiful beyond words, and it is a blessing to be on this journey with them.

Only other ‘big’ thing I’ll note today is that my belly is actually moving now! : ) Isn’t that the best? I’ve been feeling baby for quite some time, but now baby is big enough that my belly will move and the kids can experience it as well. Of course everytime I call them to see or feel baby, baby stops moving. However one day recently S was laying on my belly and was kicked in the head, literally. He really seemed to have felt it b/c he lifted his head and looked at me funny. SO MUCH FUN!

I somehow can’t wrap my brain around the fact that we are 20 weeks along in this last pregnancy and that we will have a baby here in just four short months! We had our 20 week ultrasound today and while it was sooooooo super cool to see the little buggar floating around in there, healthy and happy… heart beating strong, and all his/her parts in the right places : ) I had just so many emotions around the day it’s interesting to digest! So yes, the thrill… the relief to see a happy baby. That was so super duper cool b/c that’s the biggest thing we all worry about as parents, good health. And that we have. I’m so super psyched and thrilled to see him/her growing inside of me. Then there is this amazing awe and amazement. I keep glancing at this little one’s profile and just can’t get over the fact that this one is “all his/her own”. I could easily line up all 4 of our 20 week ultrasounds and each and everyone is unique. It’s just the coolest thing ever to me. That this little one has a mind all of his/her own… a brand new personality, a brand new look… just all new lil’ person. So so cool.

So as I was laying there I was getting pretty uncomfortable. First off, to lay on your back, pregnant, for that long (at least a half hour or more!) is just not the best feeling in the world. Sciatic, legs fallen asleep, the whole bit. I was trying to stay positive and in the moment by asking her what she was doing and what she was measuring for. I was trying (hard) to be grateful that she was being so thorough. But man…. I was soooo uncomfortable it was really quite challenging. I was getting so annoyed that she just did not tell us anything about what she was measuring for and what she found, whether things measured well or not. I was getting even more annoyed at the poking and prodding feeling with the force at which she squished that thing into my belly. And then at the end of it all she wanted to do a vaginal ultrasound as well. I flat out refused. It seemed that most every question I asked about, her response was “it’s protocol”. Ugh. Alright…. vented and out of my system. Took me the better half of the day to recover from that uncomfortable experience, and thrilled to be beyond that. Now I can glare at this cute little pic and wonder who this little person is that will grace us sooner than we know it.

I’ve, admittedly, been having some mourning feelings as well. I suppose that’s the best way to describe it… maybe? I know this is the end of pregnancy years and that’s had lots of interesting dreams coming up as of late. One that I seem to have more often is that I have the notion of having a fifth baby! Yikes! Not something I feel I would necessarily do, but can’t help but contemplate. I do feel like maybe that overwhelming desire to have another is just not to have the pregnancy years end. That’s a huge adjustment and change in life phases and I think I’m having a hard time digesting that, in more ways than one. On the surface I know that four is perfect for our family. On the surface I know that I am done. On the surface…. Yea, you get it. But under that surface, I still need to mourn that phase a lil’ bit and get ready for this huge life-phase-shift. I had felt this way with each child when they weaned as well. It was an era passing, and in this way… our last baby of the Jarjusey clan… a huge era is passing and not without notice.

Deep breath. Enjoy these last few months. It’s going to go fast! I’m excited and scared, thrilled and joyous…. big adventures lie ahead!

Life’s been so busy here, and yet in ‘peace only’.

That’s always a blessing isn’t it? I reflect on where I last left off and we had just celebrated K’s 8th birthday. It’s sureal how much he has grown both physically and mentally over the last 6-ish months. There have been tremendous changes and I’m thrilled to say that much of the emotional rollercoaster that we were riding along with him has seemed to be slowing down, if not to a halt. There have been far (far) fewer emotional bursts that it’s felt quite pleasant and joyful hanging out with this amazing little man. He’s a joy and a wonder. I’m so proud and honored to be able to share life with him on a daily basis.

We are our first check up with our new midwife towards the end of March (and yet another visit just yesterday). The first visit went quite well, aside from her not being able to track a heartbeat! Little buggar was running for sure and gave her a run for her money. After about 5 or more minutes of playing hide and seek she asked if she should keep looking. I was feeling pretty great and did not feel it was totally necessary to actually hear a heartbeat. And wouldn’t you know it, just a week and half later, over Easter weekend I felt the baby for the first time! Very exciting. This one is very active and much earlier than I felt the others during pregnancy. Just yesterday we had our recent visit and this time we found a heartbeat. That was super fun, reassuring and just plain joyful. We have our 20 week ultrasound is just under two weeks away and I’m really excited. On the one hand I can’t believe it’s already been 20 weeks and complete flip, I can’t believe I have 20 weeks more : )

Aside from the typical classes and such keeping us busy, K had his Princess Bride Show. Three full performances and he did such a fabulous job. He really thrived during that class. Not only in the acting department, but the social as well. He met some new people and developed some new friendships and I am so proud of all that he accomplished. He worked really hard and felt really comfortable in all that he did. It took me so long to post pix and videos to Facebook, I will have to take the time to get them up here as well. The show was fabulous and everyone did phenominal.

So let’s see, since Princess Bride ended, K’s started up natural science classes at Emily Oaks and really seems to enjoy it quite a bit. He’s got that going and a game club till the start of summer. D’s still finishing up the girl scouts session as well as two gymnastics classes, and next week starts a shorter stint clay class. All of this will be over by the end of May. And Mr. S is finishing up his lovely music class with Ms. Leah. He just loves his music class and we are really enjoying these last few weeks of class. Other than that, we have a park day on Thursdays and other random classes that we have thrown in here and there. I am feeling pretty ready for summer to come along and for us to have everything yet nothing to do. I’m feeling that hoarding feeling of family time now. I remember feeling this during the end of S’s pregnancy. The overwhelming feeling that things are about to change drastically for all and just wanting to cherrish this time right before. Not over-booking ourselves (as I feel we kinda are right now) and just cherrishing the simple times of being together. It’s all positive just a strong longing and desire to cherrish this before it changes. It is going to be a lovely summer of beaches and pools, and working our new garden at Grandpa’s house! I am looking forward to it!

Recently, D’s feeling changes a ton too. She seems to have picked up K’s emotional rollercoaster where he left off : ) Her 6th b-day is coming around the corner and she’s going through some woes of her own. Lot’s of lost teeth and an energy that can not be harnessed in any way, shape or form. She’s discovering lots of things socially she’s not too sure where she fits in to the mix and that’s a challenge as well. I feel she wants to be doing more than she is currently capable of and that’s causing frustrations for her as well. It’s been interesing to say the least. She is an amazing being. Recently we attended this annual Reptile Fest downtown and as cool as it was, I was more than happy just looking from afar. Ms. D walked straight up to several critters and held them without qualms. It was remarkable. (Yes, the pic above his her taking a snake in her own bare hands…. Yipes!) She had a blast. We all did for that matter, but all in our own ways : )

We just celebrated Grandpa’s and Grandma’s birthdays. We took each out for a special birthday meal and that was fun to see them each. With G’pa we also saw the new movie, How to Train Your Dragon and that was just incredibly good. G’pa treated us to a 3-D show and that was very fun. S even sat through the entire show! Remarkable. I also had the privelege of seeing a “grown-up” movie in the theater just last weekend as I took the au pairs to the local theater for our monthly meeting. We saw Date Night and I have to say it was incredibly, roll-on-the-floor-in-laughter funny! It was so hilarious. A must see in my book.

Probably the biggest change this month has been our families conversion to vegetarian/veganism. It’s something I’ve been on the verge of doing for myself and recently saw the movie Food Inc…. and…. yipes. That just pushed be over the edge. After having SBJ watch it as well, he was onboard with the idea and we took the plunge. Vegetarian was easy, and our family has been eating quite healthy since. Even better than before, and I thought we were all farely healthy before. But it’s been better recently. I’m working on the vegan portion as dairy is imbeded in just about everything, and the kids have some staple stuff that they just really love. I want this to feel like something they have gained and not something that has been taken away. Likewise, I don’t anticpate them being “hard core” about it either. If we are out at Subway and they want a turkey sandwich… so be it. This is not a personal, moral decision they can make just yet in their lives, but my hope is that I’m laying a strong foundation of really healthy eating choices in their lives. When I prepare at their food at home it is mostly vegan and at the very least vegetarian, and that makes me feel really good.

Anyway, what I have noticed is subtle changes. It’s still really early and this feels new to me in the way of meal preparation, but everyone has been really happy an satisfied with meals that have come to the table. That’s thrilling. But some of the very subtle changes that seem to be surfacing are the kids cravings and K’s allergies. He does not seem to be as affected lately, and them trees are still bloomin’ so I know we are not out of the woods yet. But he seems to be feeling and appearing less affected. Not totally better, but less affected. D’s habit of asking for chocolate 10 times a day has subsided as well. In fact, today, I noticed that she had not asked but once. We were in the grocery check-out and she did ask (as it was in front of her face), but when I suggested fruity Mentos instead she was totally ok with that. That would not have necessarily happened before, and I had always in the back of my mind, questioned whether she was getting the protein that she really needed for her high-energy body. I had done some reading that the craving of chocolate or sweets could potentially be linked to the lack of protein in a diet. And because she is so high-energy, I wondered if that could possibly be a playing factor. Now… eating so many more veggies in the day, on top of all of the tofu and beans that they have been very willing to try (and even enjoy eating!!) , she is getting so much more for herself and is maybe, finally heading to a more balanced self!?

Oh, time will tell on these premature discoveries. What I do realize is that everyone in general is feeling pretty great. And I am so thrilled they are onboard with “my” agenda. It’s an exciting adventure and I look forward to the point down the road where I can say we are completely vegan and thoroughly happy with the change.

Hmmm… so I feel I’ve gotten myself up-to-date, but also really need to committ to making entries more often. Shorter more frequent updates seems better to me than these long overdue ones (of which tend to be water-downed versions of things going on). I have found that Facebook is far too much of an diversion from my blog and that’s not necessarily a good thing. I don’t know that I can step away from Scrabble, but I am going to attempt to spend more time here than there!

Today was one of those weird spring days where I was so enticed by the sunshine, I was sure we could bike to Target (a mere half mile or so down the road). Of course, being prego I would not be biking, but walking S in the stroller. The older 2 would enjoy their bikes for the first time this season. Well…. let’s see, for starters, SBJ was a gem to let me sleep in (again) and I did not arise till about 9 or 9:30a. So lazily got some breakfast and just simply enjoyed that we did not have be anywhere at all at any pressing time and place. K and I played this new game (found at our fav thrift store recently) called Fact of Fiction. It was awesome b/c he was really reading me the trivia questions and that was just so much fun to actually play the game with him! D was hanging out watching a flic on netflix, and S was hanging by the window watching the mowers going through the front lawn for the first time this season. (That was sheer fascination for him for at least an hour!)

So eventually it was near 12p or 1p and I thought “let’s get out and do something”. That sunshine was calling my name. We have these amazing, huge, life-saving-at-time windows in our living room that just invite in sunshine the entire day long. It’s hard to be home when it’s so gorgeous like that. But the most deceiving part of that is that our place is so HOT b/c of the radiators *and* the sunshine (humongo) windows that we always anticipate the weather to be about 10-15 degrees warmer outside than it really is : )

We get all pumped up to actually leave the house though and everyone got dressed. I jumped in the shower and off we go. We head to the storage for the first time since putting the xmas decorations away and figure out (painfully) that the bikes are pretty much in the back of the shelter. So lots of digging to get them out. Then…. of course…. the tires are all flat, but where is the bike pump? I fortunately remember that I did see it somewhere in the kitchen at some point in time, so we head back to the back door and I run up to locate it.

As I’m digging around to get it K calls up that S is freezing (shivering) and I should bring a blanket down. I bring this huge blanket and I wrap him up like a little burrito. His eyes are tearing, and I’m now realizing that we are totally insane : ) BUT, I did not want to be the one to pull the plug, so I perservere. I get D’s bike set without a hitch, but can’t get K’s caps off to safe my life. I need to run back up for a wrench (of course). And finally get that moving. Of course, after that…. D decides she needs gloves, so again…. run back up. And just as I’m locking up for the 4th or more time, K decides gloves are a good idea : )

It’s like 3:30p at least before we are even on our way, and I announce I’m hungry and we can stop at Subway before going. We get there and pull up and low and behold, I have the wrong keys for the bike lock that I brought with us! (Of course!) We opt to just leave them right next to the window where we’d grab a table to eat so we can keep an eye on them. We have this lovely leisurely lunch and it’s probably close to 4:30-5p by this point. I look at everyone and say, “ya know…. I think we will bike to Target another day. I think the cold will be torture and it will feel like the longest ride ever.”

Ha… the reaction was funny. Here I was waiting for one of them to pull the plug and they were waiting for me to pull the plug : ) They were quite relieved and agreed. We head back home, pack up the bikes and jump in the car to Target. It was quite a comical afternoon. All of that effort for the sheer desperation in believing it really IS spring, isn’t it?

Memory of the day: “S how ya doing down there?”…. ” I -cold”…. with tears flowing from his eyes.

We are more than ready for this weather to shift!

You are asked for your password to log into blog and you not 100% you can remember it! ; )

February feels like a blur at this point. It’s been nearly six weeks since SBJ lost his job and I’d lie if I said I was not a bit worried. However, in that very same breath I can very easily say that it’s been the most precious time we’ve been given that’s it hard to not see that first and foremost. To have him here and spending this much time with us has been this unbelievable precious moment in time that we would have never had, and just may not for some time to come! Relationships have grown stronger and we’ve had so much time and laughter together. That’s just not something you are ever awarded when in the grind of everyday life.

We took the plunge and headed to the waterpark for UWWG. It was a fabulous week away and can’t believe that was 3 weeks ago! We swam our little hearts out most of the days, attended many of the workshops that were offered, and just loved every minute of the entire experience. We can’t wait till next year’s gathering and already talk about “the next time.”

Upon return from the trip it was hard to plunge back into the activities. At least for me it was. I think I’ve spent much of this month catching up from that excursion and trying to feel like I’m back in the swing of things. It is one thing being in the first trimester and already pooped most of each day, but to add that trip and jumping right back into things was rough. I have been incredibly fortunate that SBJ has been around and he’s been getting up with the kids most mornings (the ones I don’t have to rush out the door anyway) and letting me sleep in more than I’d ever get. I’ve also had the luxury of grabbing a nap here or there and that’s helped ten-fold.

Trivia is still going strong. We have 2 more weeks left of that gathering. This coming week some of the kids who have not yet finished up will get the chance to do so. The last week they will all bring their games back to play withthe others and test-run their newly created trivia games. Those trivia cards were nearly the death of me I tell ya. It was so incredible to get assistance from another family in the group in getting all of the trivia inputted and formatted, but then to take it over to OfficeMax was just the start of my problems. They somehow could not understand what I needed done and instead of calling me to ask, or say it was not completed… waited till the night before I needed them for me to come in and get them…. undone. They dork behind the counter just said he could not get them done and had absolutely no reason for not calling me during they day. So there I was at about 6pm with over 400 trivia cards to hand-cut. UGH. I came home ranting and raving that evening and of course, my awesome SBJ jumps up and offers to take them over the FedEx for me to have them cut. He wraps up the project, jump on a bus and brings them home just a short while later all cut. He even sat up with to sort them into the right piles and this was after he had done laundry in the AM, and sat with the kids all day, cooked them a really lovely dinner, and had them fed and ready for bed when I got home! Now that’s a hubby I tell ya.

I had accepted and resigned a position before even starting. I don’t know what I was thinking really. Taking on a 3rd job with 3 kids, pregnant and homeschooling. I must have been fr%#(@ing out of my mind. But maybe just feeling the stress of unemployment lingering. It would have been an awesome fit for me. I would have loved it. But it just could not fit into a 24 hour day… if I was going to get any sleep at all. So with in 2 weeks of accepting I needed to resigned. I felt horrible and I know the woman who hired is probably really upset as I never heard back from her when I did step down. But it does feel quite right as a decision. I just don’t know how I would have been able to add that to the plate.

K’s been in new drama class that he really seems to be loving. I’m proud that he’s tried a few new things lately. He’s kinda had a rough-go lately in wanting to give anything at all a try. And I feel in some sorts, I have pushed a little more than he appreciates. But in 2 specific instances he’s really ended up loving the event and wants to return. It’s that initial hurtle that’s always very hard for him it seems. (I so can relate to this feeling at times!) And of course, he’s totally in love with his Orion class. Princess Bride is plugging along and he’s just so in love the process and the class. Very cool.

D is in more activities than I can count and funny thing is, it’s still not enough for her. What a bloom from the past year I tell ya. There is no way I would have ever suspected this of her. I knew she’d eventually come out of her shell. Well, not that she’s totally out of her shell. She’s still pretty quiet around people. But there isn’t a class out there that she’d say ‘no’ to at this point. She’s loving it all. Now for my sake I need to get her to focus on a couple so that we can do a few here and a few there, and not ALL at one time! Time for me to ton things down a bit for mama-sanity.

S is just as funny as can be. I can’t even describe this emerging personality. It’s a real trip. He is saying 2-3 word sentences already. Totally communicates with everyone about everything. And is just sure he is just as big as the big kids. He plays right along and totally digs it. Today is a prime example. They had swords out and were sword fighting. K shouts, “I’m going to get you”…. and proceeds to (pretend) stroke him with the sword. S closes his eyes and falls down on the floor and everyone leans over shouting, “Oh no S… are you dead? Are you ok?” And he’s laying there for as long as possible  with his eyes totally squinting closed, faking dead. It’s hilarious. Then he was kinda taking a break to nurse and K wanted him to jump back into the game. So he says, “come on S we want you to be the monster.” And of course, S jumps up and says “OK”, and proceeds to put his arms up in the air and start growling like a monster and chasing them into the other room. Just awesome. He’s a real trip that little man. OH… and of course I can’t forget to mention his LOVE for guitar. He puts the kids guitar strap ON and holds the guitar and plays and sings for us *several* times a day. This one is bound to be a musician in some way-shape or form. He just loves it. He’s back in Kindermusik with his lovely Ms. Leah. She really digs her and her classes. And he’s also doing art class with D at the end of the week. He really digs this class too b/c he can sit and squirt bottles and bottles of glue… and paint as many pix as he wants. It’s fun to watch this little person emerge.

Hmmm… so other than that we’ve been battling a little illness. D came home from the waterpark and puked for a day. She was kinda flu-y for less than 36 hours… then back to her chipper self. But then, this past week she collected a cold from a friend and the boys were gifted with it as well just 2 days later. So this weekend went from super-duper busy to just sitting and chillin’ the whole weekend away. For me, it was well-needed. We’ve been on the go for some time now, even last weekend, I had tons of work stuff going on. So this weekend was nice that we went from super packed to just recuperating.

I was ever-so-proud of myself today. I had actually got my desk organized and threw a ton out as well as got my annual shredding project ready and in order. I feel my cleared, settled and organized to get these taxes done this week. I know that it’s going to be tough b/c I don’t have last year’s electronic file. So I have to go through and back track manually this year. Hopefully its not nearly as daunting as I’m setting it up to be in my head. But now that my desk and space has had its spring cleaning, its time for me to quit procrastinating on this and get them done already!

More stuff in the works, but I’ll update when things transpire. We are about 11 weeks along now in this pregnancy and I’m no swaying on my gut feeling of whether it’s a boy or a girl ; ) I still won’t find out though. I can’t bare to know that much in advance. Aside from tired, I feel great. It’s been a pretty easy preg, as the rest, and I am so thankful for that! I will be eager to meet this one and see if he/she is a completely different (4th) personality! Motherhood is precious. I feel blessed and excited to be on this incredible journey.

So we’ve been really been in a good place lately… Things going well, feeling good. Of course we have our minor woes…. one of which I am having a hard time with is S and his nighttime nursing and restlessness issues, which I am hopefully is revolving around teething. But over the last several nights we’ve been testing the waters of me sleeping elsewhere (as a pediatrician suggestion)… not next to him at night and he tends to sleep a ‘bit’ better. But I have to say, it just plain sucks. I hate not sleeping next to my baby. I hate having to get up and go to him when it’s nursing time. It feels unnatural and just plain exhausting. SBJ does not think it has anything to do with me and says that he will just get over it…. it is by far our worst sleeper of the three. So it’s probably something we just have to deal with and eventually he’ll finally sleep! Or at least hope so!

The other is K and his inability to be flexible with others needs or desires. Prime example is when D and I would love to do an activity one day and he is so totally opposed to the idea that it causes havoc in all of our lives. I have tried relentlessly to talk this out with him and sort of negotiate to the point that “hey we do this stuff with you when you need/want, how about giving it a chance and then we can … “. But this is not something he wants to hear. And I am trying endlessly to understand that. Everyone’s needs here are different. As a mama it’s easier for me to put mine on the back-burner for now. But also as a mama, I struggle with D having to put her’s on the back-burner. She’s the one I wonder about her growing needs, passions, interests, hobbies, etc. etc.. She’s spent SO long following suit to her brother, and that was great for them and their relationship… but now she’s growing and trying to figure out “her thing”, and I want to support that so desperately. If she’s showing interest in somethin’ I want to support her exploration, just as K has gotten throughout his growing and development. But desperately struggle with K’s inability to go along or be supportive of that process as it’s blossoming. I do gather that he’s going through his own thing as well…. so this too can be temporary and passing.

Ah…. so K’s BIG (FIRST) show is this weekend. He’s doing the Circus/MacSith performance on Sunday and SO excited about the whole thing. It’s been an amazing process… this entire class. I have seen him grow into this totally new person. I was trying to explain to someone the other day… “I truly feel like I am getting to know this brand new little man… it’s remarkable”. The class, and maybe just natural growth and development that comes along with being 7… and K… but he’s just become someone I could not have ever imagined. Remarkable, whitty, comical… a performer. Not what I would have ever thought of my little lap-sittin-mama’s boy who’d never give anyone time of day when he was just 2 yrs old! Ah…. motherhood. It’s a remarkable ride if you can relax and enjoy even the hardest moments.

His passions for Bionicles even subsided a bit. He told me on his 7th b-day that he really feels seven…. but more accurately said “I feel different. Like a big kid. I’m seven now but really I think I’m 12″. He’s a boy so eager to grow up I am so not sure how or where that came from, but he’s just so eager to be a BIG kid. Dahlia certainly has not come to that point yet.

So… looking and feeling the goodness and how I feel like we are in a great place right now. I think that may be because the process of deschooling has been really good for me lately. I feel like as much as we grow to trust the process for our kids, we also grow to trust ourselves. Lately I have had a couple inquiries about us and our unschooling life choices, and really has brought to my attention how much more comfortable I am feeling about our life path… Looking back since the very beginning when I did not even realize that I was going to be homeschooling in the first place, and now feeling quite comfortable not only unschooling, but life learning and/or radically doing so. The people who have posed those questions to me lately have really forced me to step back and look at it more deeply. And wow, it’s just felt really really good to feel I am so incredibly comfortable with where our family is right now that I feel far (FAR) less pressured by what everyone else around us is up to and doing. (Explaining that may take me far more time than my eyes can manage to stay open for, so I’m going to leave it at that…. )

SO… it was a family choice that instead of signing up for more classes this Spring we were going on a museum tour. We are going to 1-2 places a week, depending on free days and distances, and going to check out several new places that we’ve never been to before. Greatly looking forward to it. Will be a fun filled 2 months before (hopefully) summer weather hits and we are on the beaches, parks and pools. Of course, there are 2 class options for us, if they actually do happen. K may be doing a 4-5 week circus class… D may be doing a 4 week art class. All depends on if the classes actually run. But if not, we have our museum stops along the way.

Also coming up is S’s first b-day, May 1, and D’s 5th on May 31st! The thought brings tears to my eyes…. I can’t go there just yet! ; )

Congrats Tamara, comment #20 on Dec. 18, 2008!!!! You have been randomly drawn from a cooking pot ; ) as our lucky winner of the beautiful cross-cultural Mei Tai!!!

I don’t see your email address in your comment, so please email me with your contact information! I’ll send it off in the mail this week!

mommy@nakitababy.com

CONGRATS!!!

So the Nakita Baby Prize Giveaway winner has not come forth and we still have this beautiful mei tai to share with a loving family! The new contest deadline is Jan. 31st! Scroll down to the Dec. 11th entry and check out the contest giveaway rules! (Comments can be submitted anywhere on this site for an entry to win!)

Look forward to finding a nice home for this intercultural mei tai!