<——- This my friends is 5 miles!
Today was my first attempt…. and accomplishment of a five mile run! I am happy. I am delirious. Deliriously happy could be added to that as well.
Folks…. it’s been a good 14 years since I have given myself this type of love and attention. I am, have been, remain to be 110% devoted to being a homemaker. That is/was/forever will be my “love and attention to myself” as it is what fills my soul completely. My kiddos and hubby are my life and I would not (in the slightest) change my feeling about that. As my 5th baby is about to turn one year old this Saturday, and has been deemed ‘our last’ I have come to a major self-realization… The next time I get to ka-noodle… snuggle….. and inhale a baby so deeply will be when I become a grandmama. Which has me reacting in two very vital ways…. 1) soak baby C up for ALLLL it’s worth cause it’s this baby time is going fast AND it’s gonna be awhile before I get to this so deeply again, and 2) “you best make it to be a grandmama!!!” Self-love and attention to myself has since had an extension and/or revision in definition!
Back in April….. a mere five months ago I could not even do a half mile without filling like the (my) world was ending. A homeschooling mama running friend started this walk/jog/run club and I foolishly signed up to participate. But….. having signed my name on the dotted line, I was not going to give up and make excuses. I had to at least see this 6 week club through. By week two I realized that if I did not start doing the same thing at home I was never going to amount to any further endurance and every single week we met would feel like pure hell on earth. So after some altering at home with kids and schedules and such, I figured out how to find time to get my butt moving at home too, in between our meetings. By the end of the club’s weeks was up to about two miles at home on my own.
Keeping the momentum going, and with some nudging from said running friend, I increased distance and did my first 5K (ever in my life I might add!!!) in June. It was one of the best experiences of my life! It motivated me deeply to keep at it even though at that point in time…. I was in pain. Deep (left) hip and (right) knee pain. I reached out to a homeschooling homeopathic mama friend, my previously mentioned homeschooling running mama friend, and my homeschooling yoga mama friend. I was encouraged through the slumpy feeling. With the adjustment of my gait, some better shoes for gait/landing, barefoot shoes, homeopathics and yoga I was able to endure the process of getting deep into and out of the pain I had during running to the point in which I run completely *pain free*!!!
Recently my daughter wanted to get out and do a bit with me. I was getting out there doing a walk/run mile with her prior to my 3 mile runs, and realized, “ehm, woman….. you can do 4 miles now!” So I upped my game and got moving. I have been doing four miles for just a few weeks now and then realized in just the last day or two…. “well, what would be one more?” I mean that has been my ultimate goal. To maintain endurance to do a 5 mile run within an hour. You will never catch me training for a marathon…. not even a half marathon. I am quite content with my running ability at this point, and would like to increase speed (to do the five miles in less than an hour), but I’m not out there ready to run to Wisconsin or anything crazy like that. I can’t even say I like it all that much (still). 🙂
But what I DO love is the energy I have from taking care of myself. All of the results the effect of running has. And the nurturing I have learned to grow to appreciate, even more deeply than maybe I can put to words. I have this time in which the only noise is the world around me. I need to concentrate deeply on my gait to avoid slumping back into pain, and the result becomes a deep meditation. A time in which my mind is so clear not thinking, worrying, planning, plotting a hundred other things. This clarity has created such inspiration in my mind, spirit and soul. My art has picked up, my creativity, my life aspirations!
So, last night I went to bed saying, “I think I’m going to do FIVE miles tomorrow!” I was feeling pretty certain that I had the ability, but of course self doubt always hovers nearby. I woke up and took my usual long time to get out the door. I always seem to need to work my way up to getting out there and doing it. I seem to take my sweet ol’ time getting ready, stretching, finding something to clean up after, finding my hat, tying my shoes….. Once I get out there, I’m happy as a clam, but I have not gotten over the hump yet. I still need to truly nudge myself to get out there. But in the very same thought…. there is little-to-nothing that will stop me from doing it either. I am doing about 5-6 runs a week with yoga on the chosen days off…. And today….. increases my distance to FIVE MILES!
Five miles…. in one hour! Yea, no marathon worthy times over here. That’s perfectly ok with me! I had always said to myself that I’d be so happy to have the endurance to do five miles, and the fact that I could do it in an hour makes me even more delirious! I am compelled to add that my inspiration to be that rocking out grandmama is whole-heartedly supported by my amazing kiddos. They have been such an amazing support system. They tolerate their mama getting out of the house every morning to rejuvenate her mind, body and soul. They help with the baby. They help with breakfast. They encourage me when I say, “I can and I will” and they pat me on the back when I say, “Um, not today.” They are the coolest people I know. And I’m thrilled to be able to call myself their mama. Without their coolness, this truly would not have been accomplished. I would not have been able to find the time, find help with a baby, find support with a meal, find time to *maintain*!!!! They have made it possible for me to attain my goals. And as they see me grow and GLOW I think they support if even more deeply. I just thank them sooooooo deeply for that!
So….. cheers! Here’s to 5 mi! I am over the moon…. tears of joy…. and a nice hot shower for these inevitable achy muscles to come!